Anxiety is at a high and work is going to make me lose it.
sorry i’m late, professor. im disenchanted with the human experience and waking up every morning thrusts me into an instant existential crisis
2014 Awards Season, ladies and gentlemen.
#i think you’ll notice that 90% of the awesome can be attributed to women being awesome #women being hilarious #women not giving a fuck #women swearing #women supporting other women #women making fun of dudes #WOMEN #i mean we started with tina and amy and ended with ellen #pretty damn amazing #awards season
a guy walked into the board room and said
"hi sweetheart if you could fix me up a coffee real quick im meeting with the regional reports manager in like five minutes, thanks darling"
and i just stared at him and coldly said
"i am the regional reports manager"
we are now twenty minutes into this board meeting and i dont think i’ve ever seen a man look so embarrassed and afraid in my whole life
When I grow up I want to be…wait I am grown up. Well that sucks when did that happen?
I always shipped Joey and Phoebe, he just seems to absolutely adore her
So did Lisa Kudrow and Matt LeBlanc. They at one point went to the writers and asked if it could be revealed that Joey and Phoebe had been sleeping together for forever.
Me too, but i think mike was also awesome!
Flaphack #7: *Magically transform an old concert lanyard into a soothing pancake scented car freshener!
*not actually magic
DENNY’S WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU EVEN DOING
denny’s has the best social media marketing team ever look at this look at it
they knew their restaurant was the equivalent of 3am nightblogging and they just went with it
1. What can you see that is blue besides your tumblr dashboard?
2. What have you eaten today?
3. What is your favorite food?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. What is your least favorite color?
6. Who was your last kiss with? Was it pleasant?
7. What color shoes did you last wear?
8. What is your biggest vice?
9. Who has made you laugh the hardest in the last week?
10. What is your favorite scent?
11. What is your occupation? Do you enjoy it?
12. What is your favorite season? Why?
13. Can you do a handstand or cartwheel?
14. What color are your nails?
15. If you had to get a tattoo on your face to save your life, what would it be?
16. Describe your bedroom.
17. What is something you find romantic?
18. On average, how many hours per day do you spend on your computer?
19. Are you happy?
20. Is there anything in particular making you happy or sad?
21. Dogs or Cats?
a museum, a night club, the forest or a library?
23. What is your style?
24. If you could be doing anything you like right now, what would it be?
25. Who is the closest person to you?
26. What is the best movie you have ever seen?
27. Are you in a relationship or single?
28. What makes you attracted to the person you like right now?
29. If you could replace your partner/best friend with a celebrity of your choice, would you? Who with?
30. What is something most people don't know about you?
31. Are you holding on to something you need to let go of?
32. How did you celebrate last Halloween?
33. Have you recently made any big decisions?
34. Name three things that you and the person asking you this question have in common.
35. Were you ever in a school play?
36. What movie would you use to describe your life?
37. Is there something you have dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven't you done it?
38. Complete this sentence, "I wish I had someone with whom I could share..."
39. If you could invent a new flavor of ice cream, what would it be?
40. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
41. Who is a famous person you have been compared to?
42. What are two things that irritate you about the same sex?
43. What are two things that irritate you about the opposite sex?
44. What is the best thing that has happened to you this week?
45. What is something that makes you sad when you think about it?
46. Would you rather be stranded on a desert island with someone you love for ten years, or someone you hate for one month?
47. How long was your longest relationship?
48. Have you ever been in love?
49. Are you currently in love?
50. Why did your last relationship end?
51. Would you rather live in a castle or a spaceship?
52. What jewellery are you wearing right now, and where did you get it?
53. Name three things which attracted you to your current crush.
54. Is there something you have been keeping a secret?
55. When was the last time you cried and why?
56. Name someone pretty.
57. Do you have an ex who's name starts with a "J"?
58. What did you receive last Valentines Day?
59. Do you get jealous easily?
60. Do you believe in the phrase, "If its meant to be, it will be?"
61. Have you ever cheated on someone?
62. Have you ever been cheated on?
63. Do you trust your partner/best friend?
64. What is something you should be doing right now? Go do it.